I just saw this post on The Bride’s Guide. It is very seldom that I am rendered speechless. But there really are no words. I’m not a big fan of using your blog to slam other people, so I will try to word this delicately.

I’m in communications. I get gimmicks. Really. BUT. I just don’t think your wedding is the time to do it. I know perfectly well that not everyone has the money to pay for the wedding they want. I have been very blessed in having a fiance who is very fiscally responsible, and has helped me to be the same, and we’ve saved up.

I too am paying down my student loans, which is one of the major reasons we’re being as conservative with our wedding budget as we are. I too have “dream locations.” A castle in Scotland being one of them. Or one of any number of gorgeous venues in DC. But you know what? That’s simply not realistic, and I’m ok with that. I love our historic inn in a little-bitty town in Delaware. Love it. It took forever to find someplace that fit our budget AND fit my concept of our day. But we did it. And if we hadn’t been willing to do a little legwork, we never would have found it.

I adore, adore, adore Sara’s wedding. It looks like they had so much fun. And they definitely didn’t have dry halibut. But you can read her blog, and she’s honest– there were times that she drooled over all of the WIC temptations. I’ve definitely done the same, and found creative ways to work some of them in. Others, we’ve realized we can do without. Every realistic bride goes through this process: figuring out what you can live without to have the wedding you can afford.

Every single blogger bride I read has at some point talked about prioritizing. Deciding what parts of the wedding were most important, and going from there. It’s a process you go through as a couple. But I’ll tell you what should be the most important thing at the end of the day — being married. And you’re just as married if you get married at the local courthouse as you are with a $20,000+ wedding.

I realize that I have the luxury of having wiggle room. Our budget is small because we’ve made a conscious decision to keep our wedding expenses under control. I have to be honest, though — it offends me that there is a bride who is so unwilling to go through that process that she’s willing to ask strangers for money so that she can put on a show. I don’t know her family and friends. But if my family and friends were so shallow that they would expect me to go to such lengths as to solicit strangers for money to pay for a wedding I couldn’t afford, just to please them…I’d elope, and then find some real friends!!

I certainly would never wish ill on anyone, and I certainly do wish this anonymous bride the best of luck. With this kind of beginning (she hasn’t even told her fiance about this “brilliant” plan), I hope she’ll need it less than one might think…

Published in: on March 31, 2009 at 4:12 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I saw your comment on TBG— I SOOOO agree. It’s disgusting, appalling, and downright lazy. Glad to know i’m not the only one who isn’t singing this girl’s praises!

  2. hmm….I think i might make a donation to my favorite charity instead and in her honor. Think she’d appreciate it?


  3. Agreed, wholly and completely. Really well put.

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