Um…No

I just saw this post on The Bride’s Guide. It is very seldom that I am rendered speechless. But there really are no words. I’m not a big fan of using your blog to slam other people, so I will try to word this delicately.

I’m in communications. I get gimmicks. Really. BUT. I just don’t think your wedding is the time to do it. I know perfectly well that not everyone has the money to pay for the wedding they want. I have been very blessed in having a fiance who is very fiscally responsible, and has helped me to be the same, and we’ve saved up.

I too am paying down my student loans, which is one of the major reasons we’re being as conservative with our wedding budget as we are. I too have “dream locations.” A castle in Scotland being one of them. Or one of any number of gorgeous venues in DC. But you know what? That’s simply not realistic, and I’m ok with that. I love our historic inn in a little-bitty town in Delaware. Love it. It took forever to find someplace that fit our budget AND fit my concept of our day. But we did it. And if we hadn’t been willing to do a little legwork, we never would have found it.

I adore, adore, adore Sara’s wedding. It looks like they had so much fun. And they definitely didn’t have dry halibut. But you can read her blog, and she’s honest– there were times that she drooled over all of the WIC temptations. I’ve definitely done the same, and found creative ways to work some of them in. Others, we’ve realized we can do without. Every realistic bride goes through this process: figuring out what you can live without to have the wedding you can afford.

Every single blogger bride I read has at some point talked about prioritizing. Deciding what parts of the wedding were most important, and going from there. It’s a process you go through as a couple. But I’ll tell you what should be the most important thing at the end of the day — being married. And you’re just as married if you get married at the local courthouse as you are with a $20,000+ wedding.

I realize that I have the luxury of having wiggle room. Our budget is small because we’ve made a conscious decision to keep our wedding expenses under control. I have to be honest, though — it offends me that there is a bride who is so unwilling to go through that process that she’s willing to ask strangers for money so that she can put on a show. I don’t know her family and friends. But if my family and friends were so shallow that they would expect me to go to such lengths as to solicit strangers for money to pay for a wedding I couldn’t afford, just to please them…I’d elope, and then find some real friends!!

I certainly would never wish ill on anyone, and I certainly do wish this anonymous bride the best of luck. With this kind of beginning (she hasn’t even told her fiance about this “brilliant” plan), I hope she’ll need it less than one might think…

Published in: on March 31, 2009 at 4:12 pm  Comments (3)  

Really Real Moments

I just placed the orders for the invitation supplies. For some reason it felt very big and momentous. Even more so than putting down the deposit for the reception venue. Or buying my dress. No idea why. I’m just weird, I guess.

Has anyone else had any of those “wow, this is really real” moments lately? Do they strike you at weird moments too?

Published in: on March 31, 2009 at 2:24 pm  Leave a Comment  

Dress Decisions

Since it looks like I’ll be spared that dramatic exit courtesy of pneumonia, I decided that I should get cracking on the attire decisions for the wedding.

You know how the dress ups and downs have gone. Well, once again the blogosphere provided inspiration, in this case, by convincing me to go back to the beginning. When I first started looking for a dress, I kind of liked the look of two pieces, but over the course of the dress search, I moved away from that.

Well, I was browsing Marcy Blum’s site yesterday, thanks to Always a Blogsmaid, and saw this photo:

marcyblumphoto

{Marcy Blum}

So I finally made an executive decision. The girls are going to wear white french-cuff shirts, gray taffeta sashes, and their own long black skirts. Not sure I love the ivory flowers with the white shirts, so it may be back to red flowers, but I’m just relieved to have a decision — the flowers don’t matter so much to me!

While I was searching for the BMs dresses, I also did some looking around for my rehearsal dinner dress. I adore this gorgeous blue creation:

sundaybrunchdress
{Sunday Brunch via coco+kelley}

But with no sleeves, and at $350…that’s a no go.

However, I found this shirt and this one, either of which would be fun and ruffly (in black either way), maybe with this pencil skirt

ruffleshirt1 skirt

And a test run of the red shoes, of course!

Published in: on March 31, 2009 at 12:16 pm  Leave a Comment  

Mini Gift Bag DiY

In years past, I was very much into being artsy-crafty (in fact, I used to be a Stampin’ Up demonstrator. Not even kidding.), so I’ll occasionally see a DIY project that strikes a very familiar chord.

Case in point: these super-easy envelope gift bags. I used to make them all the time, but haven’t done any in quite a while. 

envelopebags

{How About Orange via EAD}

You can make them any size — use catalog envelopes to make larger-sized gift bags, or stick with the smaller ones for trinkets. One word of warning: envelopes aren’t the sturdiest of material, so keep the contents light, or use a Tyvek envelope!

Published in: on March 30, 2009 at 1:41 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Protocol Prompts: “Your” Day

I am slowly on the mend, and catching up on posts I’ve missed in my Google Reader. A phrase in this post reminded me of a recent post on What Would Emily Post Do?

In the post, Anna was recounting a recent trip to DC, where a woman offered “Grandma” as a word that is brought to mind by the word “etiquette.” Many people have this misconception, that etiquette is just about the “rules,” and only apply if you’re the prim and proper, stuffy type. I couldn’t agree more with Anna Post’s assessment that etiquette is less about being a stickler for “the rules,” and more about consideration for others.

Where this ties into the Vintage Glam post today is with one little phrase: “So we compromised.”

You hear horror stories of bridezillas who ask their attendants to get implants or at least padded bras so that the entire wedding party will look similarly…ahem…well-endowed for the ceremony (not kidding, heard it with my own two ears!!). On the flip side, you hear stories of “momzillas” who take over their daughters’ weddings, with nary a thought for what the bride actually wants. Either is a terrible way to plan a wedding.

Yes, it’s your day. But anyone who’s gotten far in the planning process knows that sweeping, unilateral decisions only carry one so far. You do still want to be on speaking terms with your family and friends after the wedding. At the same time…it’s your day. You also want to actually recognize the wedding at the end of the process. A bride should strive to treat everyone’s opinions with consideration — including her own. Which is where compromise comes in, and links back to Anna’s point about etiquette. 

With any wedding, there are things that are fall-on-your-sword important. For me, one of those things is having nothing fussy and frilly. Pretty, yes. Fussy, no. There will, in fact, be no ribbon rosettes anyplace near my wedding. Period. Minor point for some people, but for me it was a super big deal. 

Then there are the things in the middle. Perfect ground for compromise. For me, one of those things was having children in the wedding party. Now, very small children were absolutely, positively not going to happen. I don’t relish the thought of night sweats between now and the wedding stressing about what the kids might do during the ceremony. But it was very important to T’s mom that kids be in the wedding, so we compromised by asking T’s 8-year-old cousins to be in the wedding party, and the little ones are going to be greeters. 

On the far end of the spectrum are the things you really couldn’t care less about. For me, that includes the bridesmaids shoes and hair. They’re all grown women who have been dressing themselves for a long time. Since I don’t think any of them have it in for me and want to ruin my wedding (or I probably wouldn’t have asked them to stand up with me!) or look ridiculous, I’m trusting them to choose whatever is best for them. I can safely say that of all the weddings I’ve been to, I can’t remember a single hairdo. Not one. So I’d rather have them be happy and comfortable with their own selection.

In my opinion, Ashley gets it. At the end of the day, etiquette — wedding or otherwise — is about consideration. Putting yourself in their shoes. Recognizing the worth of your own feelings. And then finding the happy middle ground.

Published in: on March 30, 2009 at 11:01 am  Leave a Comment  
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Recovering…

Sorry for the absence of posts the past day or two — I’m down thanks to a bout with pneumonia, but should be up and about soon, with a belated Protocol Prompts post and the latest on the plans (moving along in spite of my lungs’ lack of cooperation!)…

Published in: on March 28, 2009 at 5:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

Registry Angst

Is anyone else having registry angst? T and I registered, and then I started having economy guilt about having registered. I mean, people are losing their jobs…why do I really need new tea towels?? But I also feel like people might give gifts anyway, and I know I personally love registries, because I know I’m giving the couple something they definitely want. 

So I took an axe to the registry, and cut the most expensive stuff. But I still feel a little bit of registry angst. Anyone else sharing this boat with me?

Published in: on March 26, 2009 at 4:25 pm  Comments (4)  
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Music and Ceremony Details

I know I’ve mentioned a little bit about the music we’re planning to have for our wedding, but I was just working on some details to send to my MOH, who’s going to be handling the musicians for me, and I thought I’d share with you too!

I want the whole ceremony to have a very classy, low key — almost understated — feel to it. I’ve always adored classical music, especially pieces in minor key. The prelude will be almost exclusively classical music. Both our ceremony and reception music will be played by friends of ours who are musicians. I didn’t want to ask them to learn a whole bunch of songs, so we’ve decided to use pre-recorded music for the prelude, and have live music start with the ceremony.

I’ve chosen Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for the seating of the mothers. T’s grandmothers have both passed away, and I’m not sure if mine will be able to travel for the wedding, so we’ve decided to just have one song for the seating of the mothers and then move right into the processional. The Moonlight Sonata is probably my favorite classical song, and it always makes me calmer. I’ve heard people say they found it sad, but I’ve always thought it had a quiet beauty, and I hope our guests agree! It’s going to be played on the harp, with piano accompaniment.

(more…)

Published in: on March 26, 2009 at 3:51 pm  Leave a Comment  
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My Office That Will Be

Yesterday, T and I were talking about the future. On a side note, that’s one of the things I love about him — he indulges my need to talk about the wedding, and will even participate in such conversations, but what he’s really interested in is our future together. Guys are wonderful like that.

But I digress. T and I were talking about our business future; one day we hope to have offices together. He’s going to be a professor, and we’ll have our real estate stuff on the side, and I just want to plan (and help other people plan) fabulous things. He is definitely the business brain behind our ventures, while I’ve got the communications side locked down. 

So I had offices on the brain when I opened my Google Reader this morning to catch up on posts I’d missed, and saw this lovely little number on first milk.

chair

{Aiveen Daly}

I think I have a very serious chair crush. I want this chair to come live with us and be the centerpiece of my office that will be. Only I’m afraid the words “hand made in West Sussex” will mean less to my darling husband to be than “£3,000+.” *sigh*

A girl can dream.

Published in: on March 26, 2009 at 10:25 am  Leave a Comment  
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The Soft Feel of Springtime

I love the quiet, contemplative mood of a spring morning. Leslie’s photograph’s, found via Creature Comforts, evoke that same lovely feeling. Adore.

leslie-breakfast

leslie-spring

leslie-cafe

leslie-morning

leslie-flowers

{All images by corfu~}

Published in: on March 25, 2009 at 11:17 am  Comments (1)