Think, Think, Think

Today I am having a Pooh bear kind of day — lots of thoughts swirling around in my head, and I just want to sit down and “think, think, think.” Good thoughts. Happy, hopeful thoughts. Apparently I’m not the only one feeling introspective, either.

Kathryn is under the weather today, and asked readers to share what inspires them today, in the absence of a regular post from her, and although I know what she meant, the most honest answer I could give is that today T inspires me. I’ve been having a rough time with this wedding, which many of you know. A couple of different things have happened in the past few days, both good and not-so-good, that have all come to a head to remind me why we’re together in the first place. Marriage and love are like what I hear about sobriety after dealing with addiction — every day you have to choose again to be sober. Yes, on June 19th we will say our vows in front of God and our friends and family. But every day from now until then, and every day after that, we chose again to be committed to each other. Not because there’s any doubt, but because there is strength in that choosing.

I’ve heard people say that their partner completes them, but I don’t think that’s true. Or at least I don’t think that’s healthy. I think that alone, a person should be complete, but with their partner, a couple is more than the sum of their parts. I’ve had a bunch of people remark to me how excited I must be to be planning our wedding, our “big day.” And I am (some times more than others). But to me, in some ways, it’s just…a party. An important party, don’t get me wrong, but still…the ceremony matters a lot more to me than the reception.

Meg perfectly captured my own thoughts when she said:
“When we look back, I hope we don’t think ‘that was the day when I was the happiest,’ but ‘that was the beginning of the richest, deepest, and happiest part of my life.'”

Today, I am inspired about our wedding not because I want everything to be the perfect “show,” but because I want to add those small touches that will help people to walk away from our wedding feeling even just a little of the deep joy and contentment we have found together, and the promise of the journey we are beginning. And for me, that gives this “party” it’s meaning. Not because that’s the day I get to be a princess for a day, or wow people with our decor, or any of the other reasons that people throw big, impressive events of any type, not just weddings. Because that’s the day I get to publicly and officially affirm the vows that I already make in my heart every day.

Our wedding will just be the first step on a new stage of our journey together. I can’t wait to start walking.

Published in: on February 3, 2009 at 10:15 am  Leave a Comment  

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