Come Back, Ice Queen

I need to find my inner ice queen again.

When I first started doing events, I was a mess before an event. I just knew that everything was going to go wrong! After a while, though, I became pretty unflappable – yes, things went wrong sometimes, but we handled them and got the job done.

I need that unflappable person to come back. I’ve lost my professional objectivity, and am definitely beginning to realize why they say you shouldn’t be your own lawyer. Last night, T made me feel terrible and reminded me why I love him all at the same time. I snapped at him over something dumb and instead of firing back, he cut right to the heart and said, “You’re kind of a grumpy bride. You’re sad all the time, and I don’t know what to do to make you happy again.” Then he just held me, when really he had every right to be annoyed with me for being snappish, proving once again that he usually does know what to do, even when he thinks he doesen’t.

After I went to bed, I was thinking about it, and I realized that in the stress of wedding planning, I’ve forgotten how to ask for help. Those of you who have known me for a while know I’ve always had a time with that. Not because I’m arrogant, but because I don’t want to trouble anyone. I’ve been trying not to be THAT bride, the one who talk about their wedding non-stop, totally forgetting that other people have lives too, ones that don’t revolve around the wedding. So I’ve been trying not to talk about the wedding unless asked, or if I have a specific question for someone. And that’s clearly not working, because it’s making me crazy! Which is probably worse than having a one-track mind. I don’t know where the balance is, but I hope I find it soon.

Ok, I think I’m done venting. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for “listening.”

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Published in: on January 22, 2009 at 7:49 am  Leave a Comment  

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