Still a Guy…

There’s a really funny song by Brad Paisley called “I’m Still a Guy” where he talks about how men and women see life differently (“you think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy, I’d like to give it a whirl”), and no matter how great your man is, he’s “still a guy.”

Well, I was reminded last week that as wonderful as T is, he’s…well, still a guy! As we began talking about getting married, one of the things I was really excited about was the fact that he actually had some opinions about our wedding. “Aha!” I thought, “my fiance won’t be the hands-off type.” I had grand visions of us thoughtfully discussing all the details of our wedding so that it would really be “our” day, not just mine.Operative word: “had.”

Over Christmas, I got a reality check. We went to NYC for the day, and I was excited about having almost three hours in the car to hash out all the wedding details. However, about 15 minutes in, T asked if we really “had” to talk about the wedding the whole way. I was-as you may imagine from my naive, rose-colored glasses view of the planning process-shocked and dismayed! What did he mean, he didn’t want to talk about the wedding? How was it going to be “our” day if we didn’t figure out all the details???

After an…ahem…”discussion” about the matter, I finally realized…he’s still a guy. As he put it, “there’s a reason everyone stands up and turns around to watch the bride walk in, and the groom just slips in the side and stands up front.” Yes, he cares about getting married, but he really doesn’t care a bit if the table linens are ivory or ecru. So, we came to something of an accord…I work out the logistical details, and then he chimes in on stuff like what readings we will have, and which set of vows we will use. I get to pick out the kitchen gadgets, but he weighs in on the stuff we register for that will affect the overall look and feel of our house, like towels and such like.

I still feel a little guilty about making decisions about the wedding…there’s a part of me that feels like he’s going to feel left out if he doesn’t get to pick which kind of flowers we use for centerpieces, but overall, I think this way will work out best. We each get to participate in the parts that interest us-there are just a lot more parts that interest me! So, despite all my grand plans about a joint planning process, I’m coming around to the fact that yes, T really does want it to be “my” day, and that’s ok, because after all, it’s one day that’s the start of our life together, and that’s the part that really matters.

Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 8:37 am  Leave a Comment  
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