It’s not true what they tell you. That whole “goes by in a blur, only remember because of the photos” thing? I remember every moment of what was a wonderful, amazing, emotional day.
I only had three attacks of nerves. The first one was completely unexpected. I woke up all “yay, I’m getting married today,” made it all the way downstairs to breakfast in the hotel, got one whiff of the full breakfast, and realized maybe bacon and eggs do NOT mix with nerves, even ones you don’t know are there. The second was expected but totally irrational, right before I walked down the path to see T for the first time (for some reason, I worried at the last minute that he would hate my dress), and the last one was right before my dad and I walked down the aisle (I hate being the center of attention).
Other than that, people kept saying how surprised they were that I was so calm. I wasn’t quite as calm as my sister, who was lying on the floor of the bride’s room kicking her feet in the air because she was bored waiting for the ceremony to start, but on the day of, I was surprisingly unstressed (which, if you know my penchant for stressing about details, is not much short of a miracle!).
There are so many moments that stand out in my mind. The look on T’s face when he saw me for the first time (You’ve heard the expression that someone looked “staggered?” Well, he did, literally and figuratively, the moment he saw me). How handsome he looked in his tux. How seeing each other killed the nerves, and we chowed down on Arby’s before the ceremony (seriously, terribly embarrassing pics to prove it). That the musicians were short one violin moments before the ceremony, and everyone was afraid to tell me, but I knew the whole time because someone slipped (they got a replacement and everything was fine)!! The way I felt like I was floating down the aisle in a dream, but as soon as I took T’s hands, the world felt real and right again. The absolute certainty I felt when I was saying my vows. The way the reception looked when we walked in. That we forgot the marriage license, and had to meet our pastor in the parking lot of Wal-Mart to do the handoff after we left the reception!!
So many moments throughout the day, funny and touching and memorable. And over it all, incandescent happiness. Over the course of the day, the things that went wrong (I’m still not sure if the ring bearer actually carried the ring bowl down the aisle) didn’t matter — I was getting married, and I was going to do it even if everything went wrong, everybody was late, and we got married with only our wedding party in sweatshirts as witnesses (it didn’t, everyone was there right on time, and the wedding party looked great)!!!
I’ve come to believe that “wedding blur” stories are like the labor horror stories they tell pregnant women: in the end, everyone has their own story, and handles it in their own way, and when it comes down to it, you just have to be you. And for me, that meant soaking in all the wonderful feelings and memories of our wedding day, and enjoying it. Every single moment.